36524

Joke of the Day

"I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever."

Next Joke
 
"I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it."
"I asked for her number she said sex sex sex I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629."
"George bush got stuck in concrete. That sets a bad precedent."
"100 years ago, 20 white men chasing a black man was called the Klu Klux Klan. Now it's called the F1."
"Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!"
"I would make an alliance of agnostics... but I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"Did you hear about the injured Carpenter? He hurt his widdle finger."
"Android lets you use ""Lumos"" for the flashlight, ""Silencio"" for the notifications... but not ""Incendio"". That is a Samsung exclusive."
"My fridge is so empty, I just saw a fly in my kitchen wearing a pastry apron, kneading dough and mumbling ""He doesn't even buy bread."""