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Joke of the Day

"Guy calls his wife and says, ""I had an accident at the factory today - a machine cut off my finger!"" His wife asks, ""The whole finger?"" He replies, ""No, the one next to it."""

"Yesterday a guy knocked on my door to ask for a small donation for an aquatic center being built in my town.. So I gave him a glass of water"

"You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, ""I'm fine"" than when you are flying on an airplane."

"What does a doctor say to the new father of a stillborn child? Close, but no cigar."

"You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car."

"If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!"

"knock,knock Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework?"

"What do you call the reasoning behind mexican murderers? Locomotives"

"Got in a fight with my wife while camping... It was in tents."

"Why bachelors are skinner than married men A bachelor goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, sighs, goes to bed. A married man goes into the bedroom, lifts the blanket, sighs, goes to the fridge."