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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock who's there? to to who? to whom."

"""holy shit. i don't have much time left to live. better sit on as many benches as i can before i die.""-old people."

"hot singles are in your area, merging together into a plurality, a hot leviathan. the time for chat is over. this is not your area anymore"

"Can a ninja kill someone from a distance? Shuriken!"

"So I put a bucket of water over the door a few days ago, and my victim remarked that it wasn't very original. Eh, maybe I was the fool."

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""

"ANNOUNCEMENT: DENIM CLUB MEETING IS CANCELLED. AVERY RIPPED HIS JEAN VEST AT THE SUPERMARKET. HE'S OKAY, BUT VERY UPSET."

"This election has been a bit like watching porn... The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching."

"The last time I had sex, there was a dinosaur in the cave with us."

"Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket? Because he was in de-nile"