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Joke of the Day

"Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are"

"A: What are you doing? B: Nothing A: Didn't you do that yesterday? B: I havent finished..."

"What is an over protective German father's favorite game? Sudoku a game of neins!"

"My dad has a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes. He calls it my birth certificate."

"Why is Kim Jung Un so upset? because he has no Seoul"

"What did they call the sugar that went to space? Intergalactose"

"Dudes in skinny jeans...there's no need for sex if you're already in her pants..."

"Ex (trying to make me jealous): I'm going to a party, everyone's drinking, laughing, and having fun! Me: that'll all stop once you show up"

"""I JUST WANT TO PUT A BABY IN YOU!"" -me, trying to put a crib together"

"I'd be worried about my privacy settings on Facebook too if I had as many pictures of my ugly baby as you do."