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Joke of the Day

"Oh no, my kid got upset at me and locked himself in his room. What ever will I do. Margarita anyone?"

"What comes after March? April, fools!"

"Disappointed in the Baja Men for never writing a song about putting the dogs back in."

"I can't decide which room not to clean first."

"I bought a 12 pack of condoms the other day. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag, I said ""Nah, I'll just turn the lights off""."

"I became a proud dad today. He's four but he was a boring little shit for the first three years."

"I've got 66 problems and being upside-down is one."

"I just unlocked the ""My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare"" badge on Foursquare!"

"What's the fastest thing on land? Stevie Wonder's speedboat"

"What is the best part about raping a midget? Their arms are too short to hold you back."