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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween."
Next Joke
"There are bats hanging of a branch upside down all except one. Two bats comment: ""What's happened to this one? - I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."
"When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the girl with glitter on her face does."
"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."
"I asked 2 girls if size matters. They both said this is something they often debate. Girl # 1 said she likes them big. Girl # 2 said she likes them enormous."
"I won my first cage fight last night... Fucking Parrot didn't know what hit it."
"If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you."
"Congratulations on passing your test! You are HIV-positive"
"""All lower case?"" -your mom getting an email address"
"What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for? Fo Drizzle!"