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Joke of the Day

"Can one of you please tell my ex husband that I died? I feel like it would be more believable coming from someone other than me."

"Auto correct changed naughty with nausea and it was the best decision i ever made in this relationship."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? A pardon."

"What did the horse say when he fell over? ""Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."""

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex can make your whole day, but anal sex makes your hole weak."

"My father told me a joke. How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb? He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you."

"I'm confused Wait... maybe I'm not"

"*in-flight announcement* A SNICKERS IS JUST A MARS BAR WITH PEANUTS *struggling noises* PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KN-"

"My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass"

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."