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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis... ...and asked what I was doing. Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the correct answer."

"What was Superman's first job? A Clark."

"Why did the chicken get a lawyer Because he knew he was going to get fried in court"

"When you're on a diet everything smells like cookies. Except the guy beside me on the city bus. He smells like sardines Delicious sardines"

"Good news: I recently discovered I was interested in Necrophilia. Bad news: I'm a submissive bottom."

"It's a well know fact that Elton John is an excellent pianist. But did you know he sucks on the organ?"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Everyone thinks it's 'R', but his first love be the 'C'."

"What did Robin Williams suicide note say? ""Sorry guys...I gotta go see about a girl."""

"You can lead a horse to water... but you can't make it drink, unless you have someone to hold his head under while you suck at his ass like a straw."

"if at the end of every year you find yourself posting on social media how ""this year sucked,"" it's time to examine the common denominator"