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Joke of the Day
"There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman before marriage and after marriage."
Next Joke
"I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad"
"[Thanksgiving] ME: hey dad will ya pass the peas DAD: say please ME: hey dad will ya pass the please DAD: *tears up so hard*"
"I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear."
"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."
"What do you call a crappy skin cream? DisappointmentTM"
"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake- you can't learn anything from being perfect."
"Damn girl, are you today's date? Because you're 10/10 I know we've been doing anti-joke pick up lines but this only comes once a year."
"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."
"Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 8"