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Joke of the Day

"Health level: my credit card company called me about fraud because I bought a vegetable."

"A new bike company says it has the best wheels in the world. According to their spokesperson."

"Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!"

"How do you know if a blonde has been in the refrigerator? There's lipstick on the cucumbers."

"The Mongols In the early days of their empire the mongols were openly mocked by their enemies for being so small and weak. Needless to say, Genghis khan really *stepped* up to the challenge."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia? Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: http://www.neatorama.com/2014/04/07/When-Animals-Argue/)"

"I wasn't entirely comfortable slaughtering that goat under the light of a full moon but grandma's gravy recipe was very specific."

"A three-legged dog sits down at the bar Orders a whiskey. Bartender asks,""What brings you to these parts?"" Dog responds,""Lookin for the sonofabitch who shot my paw.'"

"I couldn't figure out why the baseball was getting bigger... then it hit me!"