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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a peadophile the other day I said 'that's a big word for a 6 year old'"

"My boss texted me... My boss texted me: ""Send me one of your funny jokes"" I replied: ""I will send you one l8r, I'm working right now"" He replied: ""LMAO, send me another one!"""

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"" His father replied, ""well, son, you probably got it from your mom, because I still have mine."""

"What does Vincent say when he's annoyed at someone? Fuck Gogh"

"My personal assistant is an African American named Barry. But I just call him BlackBarry."

"I went to a club completely infested by tourettes suffering women last night. Any time I approached one they told me to fuck off."

"Where does a Mexican store his food? Hispantry"

"How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: ""I am a country member!"" and the other said: ""Oh, I remember!"""

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair gets in the way."

"The last time Twitter was down I realized it didn't take 6 hours to poop."