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Joke of the Day

"Shoes from a drug dealer I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"[interview at a clothing store] be cool, don't let them know you're a dog ""so what color is this dress?"" oh you gotta be kidding me"

"i've always struggled spelling out ""blood"" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like ""bbool"""

"How do you piss off a gay guy? Fuck his boyfriend in the ass, then wipe your dick on his curtains."

"What does a landmine field and my pet friendly apartment complex have in common? It doesn't matter where you step, shit is about to happen"

"TIL NBC had a show with the entire premise being an orangutan being a political advisor They decided to call it ""late night with conan o'brien"""

"It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's ""I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive"" moan."

"Smokey the Bear Why cant smokey the bear have kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he beats her with a shovel."

"its prettey gutsy that u call urself a salad, potato salad"

"What do you call cows with 2 legs? Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs? Ground beef."