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Joke of the Day

"You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!"

"Q: What happens if you cross a midget and a computer? A: You get a short circut."

"Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished."

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"How do you turn a duck into a chart topping soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"

"Why don't chickens like people ? They beat eggs !"

"I dropped my glasses in the toilet today. Now everything looks like shit."

"A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk right into a bar. The Buddhist ducks."

"What do you call optimistic lube? Lubrican"

"I just went to see a presentation by a very charismatic frog. He was riveting."