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Joke of the Day

"People say I'm a mean person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a sweet girl In a jar on my desk."

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar... ...and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, ""We don't serve food here."""

"Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!"

"Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team? Because anyone that can run, jump or swim is already over the border!"

"Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?"

"Drugs don't kill people, people who run out of drugs kill people"

"I told my psychiatrist I'm thinking about suicide He told me from now on I have to pay in advance."

"Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow."

"How to annoy ISIS Call them Daesh"

"[DIRTY] Eye exam Eye specialist: ""Sir, you need to stop masturbating."" &nbsp; Patient: "" Oh my God, is it ruining my eyesight?"" &nbsp; Eye specialist: ""No. It's disturbing the other patients."""