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Joke of the Day

"50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket? In case Johnny Onion Rings!"

"What do you call a poorly made massive dumpling? A wanton one-ton wonton."

"How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !"

"Is it me or does it seem like Cinco de Mayo is always on May 5th?"

"Why can't people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long? The can't handle stares."

"It's really hard to be stealthy while carrying half a box of Tic Tacs. The more you know."

"If I'm ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."

"""Bill, I'm beginning to think my wife might be cheating on me..."" ""What makes you say that, Tim?"" ""Well, you're standing naked in my closet..."""