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Joke of the Day

"An axe walks into a forest... An axe walks into a forest and the trees say, ""At least the handle is one of us."""

"What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office."

"I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later."

"What's speed of sex? 68 because at 69 she needs to turn around."

"I dont trust atoms... I heard they make up everything."

"Did you hear about the kid who fixed the Internet? The Internet: 7/10 The Internet with Rice: 10/10"

"My pants say yoga but my ass says more cupcakes please"

"Getting carded at the liquor store is better than getting liquored at the card store."

"*puts baby powder in a crib* *adds water*"

"I was taken by aliens! I couldn't get away, I don't speak Spanish!"