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Joke of the Day

"A farmer was counting his cows and found out that he had 196, but when he rounded them up, he had 200."

"where do queers download their illegal software from pirategay"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Addictionary"

"At church they said the number of the beast is 666, but I stood up and said that's not my wifes phone number at all. She's zero fun today"

"The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an f. Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us."

"""I"" before ""E"" Except after ""old McDonald had a farm."""

"The new federal health regulations require every citizen to take a half-hour daily walk. Now at least one part of Obamacare is constitutional."

"What's the difference between a Commie and a Hippie? Nothing. They both suck.^"

"Why didn't the Mexican take Xanax? He was barred."

"How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton."