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Joke of the Day

"Why did the lollipop cross the road? ... Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed."

"What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to? Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up."

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?"

"""I'll be back!"" -boomerangs -and herpes"

"What do you call a french soul singer? Beret White"

"Why is Santa Clause always so Jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"They say you are what you eat... But I don't remember eating a legend!"

"Baby if you were a fruit - you'd be a fine-apple. But if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in hospital."

"If I got a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be asking people why they're giving me dimes."