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Joke of the Day
"The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white It's now the French flag."
Next Joke
"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four one to change it and the other three to deny it."
"A neutrino walks into a bar... and it just keeps on going."
"A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, ""Do you share the same blood group?"" The husband replies, ""We must by now. She's been sucking my blood for years."
"A compulsive liar walks into a doctor's office claiming to be constipated... The doctor tells him he's full of shit."
"Hey balloon animal guys, there are other dog breeds besides ""dachshund"" and other jobs besides ""balloon animal guy"""
"Oh. Awesome. A gift card. It's like money, but I can only spend it where you thought I'd like to."
"[wife walks in on me showering] ""Why are you wearing swim trunks?"" No reason. [she glares at me] SO MY TEMPORARY TATTOOS DON'T COME OFF OKAY"
"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""
"Ways to win my heart: 1) Be cute 2) Be kind 3) Be cheesecake"