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Joke of the Day

"Ways to win my heart: 1) Be cute 2) Be kind 3) Be cheesecake"

"Sign at the gas station: ""Bathroom is no longer available."" I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone."

"I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""Hey, we've got a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says, ""Why would anyone name a drink Bob?"""

"Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater."

"What's the difference between a female and a freezer? A freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat into it!"

"A red piller, an MRA, and a gamergator walks into a bar The bartender asks him to leave because bars are 21+ Credit: /u/reese_ridley"

"Trump running for president It's Hillaryous."

"I finally stopped my roomate from biting his nails. All i had to do was make him wear shoes."

"Origami Belts They're a waist of paper"