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Joke of the Day

"They named a cricket tournament after my friend's grandfather. They call it the ashes for a reason."

"What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership? ""Audi"""

"And the moral of Little Red Riding Hood is,,, Learn to differentiate facial features between a wild dog & a human..."

"My Grandpa used to tell me ""Eat Every Bean and Pea on your Plate""!"

"What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? ""Dayuum. I'd hit that."""

"Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake? It wasn't his fault."

"When it comes to sex. No means yes. and yes? that means anal."

"Pac-Man Amiibo ""This is the worst buttplug ever! Why is it yellow?"" ""Hey, has anyone seen my Pac-Man amiibo?"" ""OOOPS"""

"My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender."

"Why did the negative number look so surprised? He was nonplussed."