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Joke of the Day

"Say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they don't speed in school zones."

"""Yes I understand that's your face, but it's also the place where I need to put my butthole."" - Cats"

"what type of beer does a hemorrhoid enjoy? pilesner"

"Girl are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing."

"Does anyone else's belt turn into a Rubik's cube when they have to piss like a racehorse?"

"A girl from the office is trying to get me fired for sexual harassment because I've been giving her ""inappropriate massages during work"" I said, Good luck sweetheart. I don't even work here."

"Step 1) Ask mom to come meet your girlfriend. Step 2) Text ""Medusa's excited to meet you."" Step 3) Place statue of yourself on your lawn."

"Grammar Nazis see things only two ways The Reich way or the wrong way"

"What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower? 10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head."

"If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription"