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Joke of the Day

"LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for"

"At my school, the cafeteria has ""World Cuisine"" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia... ...they served us nothing."

"I shaved my head the other day... At first I hated the look, but it's starting to grow on me."

"McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's ""I'm a slave for you"" before ordering."

"[customs] ""Passport?"" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it"

"I think it's really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Steve, agrees with me."

"Girl are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing."

"A giant lizard rebuilds Japan and the moonwalks into the sea. #ReverseAFilmPlot"

"When A Man Becomes Rich He Becomes Naughty When A Woman Becomes Naughty. She Becomes Rich"

"The problem with other people's money. The problem with other people's money is that it's tainted. 'tain't yours and 'tain't mine."