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Joke of the Day

"Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would if your tail was on fire."

"What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head? Sir."

"You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you. Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me."

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana They should all be watched that way"

"What do you call the musical Messiah? Gsus"

"Cheese is plural because you never eat just one chee"

"Jokes that Eddie Murphy could have done on SNL40. Here is mine. I did comedy for the fame, money and sex with white women. The 80's was so long ago. Good night folks."

"You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun."

"if you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you"

"Cottonballs is a great example of something I would buy but not want as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, however... Credit Dymitri Martin."