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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife if we could have sex even though she was on her period.. ...she said she may be able to pull some strings"

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"Why is a train a bad person to go to the bar with? Because all he says is ""Chug Chug Chug"""
"Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower."
"Online guy: wanna chat I'm 9 inches Me: i'm 58 you would barely reach the middle of my shin how could we hold hands on our wedding day"
"A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes."
"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."
"Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men."
"People say that sex ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse. ""Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."""
"What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer..."
"Have you heard about the new broom they invented? Its sweeping the nation"