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Joke of the Day

"Want to know why? Or do you want to know z?"

"Damn boy, are you a wool sweater because you're irritating the shit out of me."

"I'm texting random phone numbers with ""I just saw your Facebook Status. LOL""!"

"""I was going to attend the clairvoyants meeting..."" ""...but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."""

"Actually, there are but two types of people Those who can extrapolate from limited data ..."

"[roommate hears me come in] ""how was the date?"" [face sucked back and teeth showing like im skydiving] apparently, I'm allergic to shellfish"

"Nobody is interested in your sorrow, unless you can make a joke or a poem out of it."

"What do you call a Korean girl, who lost her virginity at a young age? Sum-Young Ho"

"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."

"I tried commiting suicide today. Never doing that shit again. I almost killed myself"