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Joke of the Day

"""Gosh it's raining cats and dogs"" said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. ""I know"" said his mother. ""I've just stepped in a poodle!"""

"What do you call empathetic bovine? understand bull"

"This guy gave me the weridest look when i flushed his urinal for him, It's like people have no concept of manners anymore"

"I became an atheist when I found out there was a religion that prohibited bacon."

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary said ""making the economy work for everyone, not just those at the top""... ...the economy would work for me."

"One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell."

"A blond goes to bed with a glass of water and an empty one. The latter is in case she wakes up not feeling thirsty."

"I've spent about 6 years of my life waiting for roommates to leave so I don't have to say hi to them when I come out of my bedroom"

"Have you seen the new interview of John Cena? Yeah me neither.........."