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Joke of the Day

"You don't need a hunting licence if you shoot a turkey and plant a very small gun on him."

"My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit."

"Another joke from my daughter Her: Why did Sally fall off the swing? Me: Why? Her: Because she had no arms. Me: ??? Her: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Her: Not Sally!"

"Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots."

"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight."

"What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other? They were MAROONED!"

"Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations."

"Guys, I really think 50 Shades missed out on a really a big marketing slogan... ""CLIMAX IN IMAX"""

"Oral sex makes your day Anal sex makes your hole weak"

"Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president."