7717

Joke of the Day

"I once put a bunch of grapes in a woman's vagina.... She didn't say much, she just let out a little wine."

"How did the Scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in is field."

"Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, ""What is that?"" I replied, ""A watered down Manhattan."""

"Crack-head's favorite rap song... I wanna rock RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk."

"How did Kikkoman soy sauce move production to China? They outsauced it."

"A blonde strolls into her new office job at 10:30 The manager comes up to her and says, ""you should have been here at nine o'clock,"" to which the blonde responds ""why what happened?"""

"Do you know why you should never boil vegetables? Because the wheelchair might rust"

"We should hold a reddit-wide vote on whether or not to bring back the upvote/downvote counter. But how will we count the votes?"

"Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say ""it's time to chase my dreams!"" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep."