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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction? You rub them the wrong way"
Next Joke
"You'll be surprised how many people won't get the answer to this. Q: what's red and smells like blue paint? A: red paint."
"What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs? Send them to barber school."
"I Went To The Zoo Yesterday The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shih-Tzu."
"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"
"What is the difference between michael jackson and pimples? Pimples wait until you're thirteen before they come all over your face."
"This is your brain- *holds out egg* This is your brain on drugs- *puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*"
"NSFW What is little, red and crawling up a womans leg? A failed abortion with homesickness."
"i have a very frustrated pet at home... its a turtle that loves to chase cars"
"*pretty girl walks by and doesn't make eye contact* She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1"