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Joke of the Day

"What does your mom and your driveway have in common? They both have a GARBAGE box."

"I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way."

"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."

"Classic Russian Reversal Old one, but I still find it funny: In America, you go out to find a party. In Soviet Union, party finds you!"

"I'm trying to be more daring. Like I'm not smoking crack or stripping, but I diiiiiid just eat an unwashed strawberry so..."

"Mohammad is a great name for a businessman It's all about the prophet."

"Yo momma's house so dirty When she smokes a cigarette, she turns it around to put it in the ashtray."

"Opening a store called The Gorp! It's exactly like The Gap except we sell gravy."

"""Dude, we should swap spacesuits. Just for a laugh."" ""Ha, yeah ok."" [swaps suits] ""Now we sh-"" ""You took a shit in this, didn't you?"""

"I thought I fell in love with my blender ...but now I have mixed feelings"