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Joke of the Day

"I've come to accept the fact that I'm quite vain. On a vanity scale of 1-10 I'm about a 6. . . A sexy six."

"Have a headache? Eating a carrot can help if you take a Advil after it"

"Q: What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets? A: An onion."

"Americans may be ignorant of other cultures... But at least we invented the hamburger"

"what do you call a 5 foot psychic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large."

"What's the difference between Pussy and Parsley? Nobody eats Parsley. (said at Christmas dinner by my 100 year old great Aunt)"

"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"

"i have an iq of 152 so actually its not ""dumb"" that im trapped in this tiny slide for children"

"My dick is so big that a JPEG picture of it cannot be stored in a FAT formatted drive."

"Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry? they have too many ohms to be good conductors."