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Joke of the Day

"83% of white folks stressing about their court dates are referring to tennis."

"What do you call a coi fish that can't swim? A decoi"

"A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman: ""Can I have a beer...................Please?"" The barman replies: ""Sure, but why the massive paws?"" Edit: Paws not pause"

"I masturbate with soap... Just thought I'd come clean."

"I like sex. My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a boy or abortion."

"I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!"

"Protein in my laundry If you captured it all you'd be able to fuel a Chi Psi chapter right before a lacrosse tournament."

"They say ""dress for the job you want,"" but this space suit chafes and I'm not convinced that Arby's is truly committed to a space program."

"I met a sick bird yesterday that got deported. The cops kept yelling about him being an ""ill-eagle""."

"Well at least the world isn't spinning uncontrollably around a huge ball of fire."