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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an amphibian in hiding? Incognitoad."

"had anyone heard of the new patriot themed beer. I heard it wasn't that good, it was A little flat."

"Every Taylor Swift song sounds like it was written in gel pen."

"I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team Because I hate dealing with parents."

"Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter."

"I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will enjoy my scrambled eggs."

"Oh OK thanks for the tip, I was actually planning on letting the bed bugs bite but good call"

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of ""Smith"" and ""Baker,"" we had ""Frontenddeveloper"" and ""Socialmediaconsultant."""