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Joke of the Day

"Don't include me in your ""baby name suggestions"" group text if you're going to ignore my ideas. Pubert is a lovely name for a boy or a girl."

"It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime."

"I called the pet store to ask if they sell exotic cats. ""Yes"" he said. ""Serval Varieties"" ^I ^better ^see ^some ^horrible ^retaliatory ^puns ^in ^the ^comments"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Sumo Barbie ...comes with thong"

"I recently attempted the world record for masturbation. I nearly pulled it off"

"Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat."

"If you're still undecided on a certain tattoo, try it out first on your baby."

"spit your drink at the person sitting across from you and tell them it's because you were laughing at this."

"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."

"What do you call a little girl who's very close to her dog? Nina"