75287

Joke of the Day

".@Schwarzenegger I just wanted to let you know that every single article I've ever read about you spells ""Australia"" wrong. G'day mate!"

"My dog eats too much food and throws it up. EVERYDAY. I swear to God if she keeps this up, she's going to look amazing."

"A cop pulled me over and said ''Papers...'' So I said, ''Scissors, I win!'' and drove off like a boss!"

"What did one coconut say to the other? Oh my god a talking coconut!"

"Why are hot dogs the best dogs? Because they feed the hand that bites them."

"What is a traveler's favorite font? Times New Roamin'!"

"It's so hot outside, I bet Jehovah's Witnesses are going to start telemarketing."

"""If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything."" Bill Cosby"

"This line for the bathroom at Starbucks is longer than kim kardashians whole marriage."

"The ghost teacher was showing her class how to walk through walls. ""Now did all of you understand that?"" she asked. ""If not, I'll just go through it again."""