74829

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman? Mic Jagger says ""Hey you, get off of my cloud"". A Scotsman says ""Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"""

"I'm surprised ""slow internet connection"" doesn't come up more often as a motive in murder trials."

"Why did the bullet stay home? Because it got fired!"

"How many fat people does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to unscrew the light bulb and screw a new one on another one to operate the crane and a third one to say when the chicken is ready."

"So my girlfriend wants to roleplay as a 14 year old... I told her ""why bother? You'll be 14 in a few years anyway"""

"""should i go into the arts?"" ""can you imagine yourself doing anything else?"" ""no"" ""then i wouldn't go into the arts, with no imagination"""

"What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court!!!"

"Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening."

"Joke from my young cousin Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is black."

"When you rob an Ikea store they probably make you put all the money in the bag yourself."