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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunch of Jews in a concert? A Moshe Pit"

"I was just thinking about my ex girlfriend and how great her breasts were. It was a real trip down mammary lane."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"

"Scissors Commercial: *Montage of people karate chopping paper in half* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better... Nevermind that was rad"

"In the words of a famous troublemaker I have a dream."

"I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers... But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"HIPSTER BOOTY CALL... BEER Can I buy you an ironically lowbrow beer?"

"Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live"

"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm gonna have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."

"I got fired from my job doing porn... I had all the dedication in the world but too many times i came in too early."