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Joke of the Day

"My Tylenol bottle says ""DO NOT TAKE IF SEAL NOT PRESENT."" Does anyone know how to contact him?"

"Do you know the story of a penguin that breathed with his ass? It sat down and died."

"If you could choose between 1 billion dollars and world peace... What would the color of your new Lamborghini be?"

"[pun] I wanted to be a personal trainer... But I was too scrawny and had to hand in my too weak notice. (Credits to Adrian, badass Chef)"

"Some people go to the gym to get big Who needs that when I can just carry the weight of my burdens and sorrows all day"

"my last words when I die will be See you later.....maan."

"TIL: During a military coup ...most people just stand around and do nothing."

"If an illegal immigrant and a child molester have a fight.. is it Alien vs Predator?"

"The world is my oyster. Expensive and gross."

"Throwing acid is wrong.... in some people's eyes."