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Joke of the Day

"a big fat women looked in the mirror and said to her husband 'im fat and ugly say something to make me feel better' he said 'your eyesight is perfect"

"What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool? Deep ends really."

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say ""I haven't decided yet"" while sobbing uncontrollably"

"Jew Jokes Aren't Funny. Anne Frankly I find them offensive."

"Breaking news: Messi won't be playing against Netherlands He is suffering from extreme abdominal pain caused uncontrollable laughter caused by watching Brazil vs Germany"

"2 Scientists walk into a bar, one asks for H20 and the other asks for H20 too. The other scientist dies."

"What do you do if life gives you melons? You're dyslexic."

"Teacher - if my cup is half full, what does that mean? Student - that you need a smaller bra!"

"/r/Jokes/ wins Friend of the Planet award! for 96% recycled content."