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Joke of the Day

"a big fat women looked in the mirror and said to her husband 'im fat and ugly say something to make me feel better' he said 'your eyesight is perfect"

"Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney."

"Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot? He didn't like dealing with reservations."

"If you aren't a Nazi right now, thank a veteran."

"I caught my wife in bed with a banana last night... She was masticating."

"Why couldn't the bike stand on it's own? Because it was two tired."

"You're like my hard drive. Fat and 32"

"Michael Schumacher. The second most damaging German fuckup in the French Alpines."

"Why did the Eskimos have to stop partying? because they ran out of Natural Light"

"Some people are like base model cars, you can see the spots where all the normal stuff should be, but it's just never been installed."