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Joke of the Day

"Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours."

"I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise his spirits... No pun intendid."

"What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common? Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them."

"Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife? The jury store"

"How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments? Very Djently."

"My friend had a funeral for her baby who was killed by a lawnmower... I hope he Rests In Pieces."

"Every year you swallow ten beetles in your sleep! That's what my gastroentomologist told me."

"Why are people supporting Donald Trump? Because he has what plants crave; electrolytes."

"I met a guy yesterday who told me he worked as a limb stretcher. Turns out the bastard was pulling my leg."

"What's infinity minus one? A sideways seven."