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Joke of the Day

"In third grade a boy gave me a valentine that said ""You're the Obi Wan for me"" and that's the highlight of my entire dating experience."

"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?"

"You know pterodactyls' don't make noise right? Even the P is silent."

"My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it"

"A horse walks into the bar Several people left because they realised the possible dangers of that situation."

"When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill."

"I read a shocking and insightful study on the causes of waking from sleep. It was eye-opening to say the least."

"Jesus take the wheel ~ Mexicans stripping a car"

"Why did the prostitute die? Because fuck you, thats why."

"What is the most painful cereal known to man kind? Banana Nut Crunch."