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Joke of the Day

"Went to the hospital to wish a pregnant lady giving birth a Happy Labor Day and she ripped my throat out :("

"What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from? Reptile disfunction"

"Why was the volcano so pleasant to be around? Because he was so magmanimous."

"Me: Ma'am your pet is loud. Lady: That's my baby. Me: Ma'am your pet baby is loud"

"Don't kiss today You're going to fast, it's only the first date"

"My ex-wife still misses me... ...BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now Louise who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !"

"Three Muslims walk into a bar... They get shot, because Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol."

"When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you."

"You always have to be extra careful when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood at night. Because black people are super hard to see in the dark."