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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about pedophiles At least they drive slowly past schools"

"What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home? Cantaloupe"

"If history has taught me anything, it's that the person with the loudest, wettest cough will always sit down beside me in a waiting room."

"Saw my ex... Please. She needs to die."

"Making writing mistakes is in my blood. Type O."

"Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine? The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!"

"I went to the Doctor for a checkup, and he started shoving toy horses up my ass He looked up and told me my condition was 'stable'"

"The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies. So to answer your question: Yes, selfies CAN get worse."

"What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four"

"What did the Jew with a boner say when he bumped into a wall? Oowwww...my nose."