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Joke of the Day

"My doctor gave me a prescription for anti-depression meds but my Bartender is having a hard time reading his writing..."

"Did you hear about the president that cheated on his wife with a piece of fruit? He was impeached"

"Be specific when saying ""BYOB"": [bursts into house] Hey, I brought beers! *7 pastors wives shut their Bibles disapprovingly*"

"My mother-in-law said that we should stay an extra day if it's too snowy to drive. SOMEONE LEND ME A SALT TRUCK."

"I was doing the dishes and i realized.. If we could cover our Military vehicles in dried egg yolk we would be unstoppable."

"Sometimes things are not what they appear. Just because I am sitting with an open book doesn't mean that I am studying."

"It's a fact that Hitler's mother was a female so you can blame women for the holocaust"

"I'm surprised the human race doesn't solve more conflicts with warm bread."

"So, I picked up a girl last night at a Rapture party and we went back to my place... When I woke up in the morning she was gone!"

"I'd never compare people I don't like to Hitler, but the people who make the little ""x"" button impossible to find on pop-up ads are Hitler."