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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me that I am very controlling. She'll stay locked in the closet with the dog collar on until she apologizes for her comment."

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"I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children."
"The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"""
"I put off things I don't want to do until tomorrow because a small part of me is like ""Well maybe I'll be dead by then"""
"I saw that new movie about N.W.A I rate it Straight/Compton"
"Asian guy walks into a salon... Asian guy walks into a salon and says ""I want to get my ass hole breached."""
"Heard about the new paki doll coming out for christmas? You wind it up and it stinks."
"a peaceful man was so opposed to war that he upon reading his draft notice he passed out and remained comatose for the duration of the war he was an unconscientious objector"
"A boy was born without testis Doctor asked the father: is there any member in the family who had the same anomaly. Father replied without missing a beat: yeah, his mother."
"What does a mod do in their spare time? [Deleted]"