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Joke of the Day

"We should be more thankful for our wounded veterans Our freedom cost them an arm and a leg"

"Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner? 28"

"What to hear a joke about dementia? Pickles"

"""THIS SUB CAN'T EVEN HANDLE ME RIGHT NOW!!!""-what i just screamed in subway as i spit black olives all over a 7 year old."

"To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President."

"Absence might make the heart grow fonder; but Absolut makes my clothes go yonder."

"I don't speak button, but if I could I'm pretty sure the button on my jeans is saying, ""Aaaaah! Help me!"" right now."

"Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word."

"I have a test on Islam next period in my World Cultures class... I'm gonna bomb it."

"Five out of six people enjoy Russian Roulette."