73100

Joke of the Day

"After all that shit, I can't believe they are finally back together. My ass cheeks"

"Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727..."

"What's a rancher's favorite sex position? Doggy style. You can't really do much else to a horse."

"""Got kicked out of the hokey pokey class for putting it in, when I was supposed to be shaking it all about."""

"Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise."

"When I RT what I'm actually saying is ""Fuck I wish I wrote that"""

"How do I know we are going to have sex tonight? Because, I'm stronger then you are."

"Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8' to 11' tall."

"[doctor gets job as 911 operator] ""What's your emergency?"" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE ""Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"""

"If Facebook really wanted to entertain us, they'd make it a requirement for people to share their ""mental status"" in addition to each new status update."