72972

Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older."

"They told me if you put your newborn in front of an orphanage he would grow up an Orphan So I stuck my baby in the ATM machine so he could grow up to be a rich banker"

"""EYES! EYES, BABYYYYYYY!"" - zombie Vanilla Ice, snacking."

"What hairstyle does Christopher Nolan get at the barber? A director's cut"

"Two elderly couple who have Alzheimers just finished having sex Male : Was it good? Female : I can't remember Male : Who are you? Sorry for the formatting sent this via my phone"

"Why is Santa always so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"Why did God give the seagulls wings? To beat the French to the garbage"

"I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name ""Occupant."""

"Turns out my date had a lot of pizzazz, not pizzas. I've never been more disappointed."

"Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don't care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test"