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Joke of the Day

"Somehow women make a new friend every week while guys just know the same six people their entire lives."

"The other hole. My buddy asked me the other day if whenever my wife and I were getting freaky if I ever tried having sex with her other ""hole"". I replied ""Hell No!"",.......... She might get pregnant."

"What does a vagina and the mob have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit."

"How do you say ""Fuck you"" in American Sign Language? Lift your hand up and put all fingers down except your middle finger."

"My piss looks and smells like gasoline this morning. My piss does impersonations of other liquids. That's talented piss."

"What's something a white person says a lot, but a black person never says? Hi dad!"

"Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom."

"Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew? Because one more, and it'd be too farty."

"Me: I haven't tweeted in days. Wife: Oh no! Hold on... *opens laptop *types Wife: Phew! Me: What? Wife: Looks like the Internet survived."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens."